December 1, 2014

“As a straight male in a happy monogamous relationship I learned that while I am not poly, that urge to fuck other people never truly goes away. It just has to be kept in perspective and in its place. I am not actually interested in inviting others into the bedroom and I am content keeping fantasy fantasy.

That being said, pornography and masturbation is the greatest. I’ve always found it interesting feeling the difference between what I can do myself and what I ask others for (or they just do themselves!).

What I am wondering is how to bring the masturbation game to the next level. Porn occasionally gets boring, but so does just leaving it to the imagination. Toys are fun every once in a while if you can multitask and even changing up the technique like switching hands or rubbing the perineum can keep it fresh. You can even “test” yourself and play with indulging and denying yourself.

Basically, wanking it is one of the one freedoms every body has and I wonder if I’ve reached my plateau or if there are new ways to keep it alone and interesting. Is this a normal feeling among others, perhaps those not as monogamous or straight as I, but just as hypersexed?”

There are many ways to spice up your masturbation routine. One of which, you have already mentioned, toys. There are masturbatary aids that are specifically designed with the male in mind. Several of these involve a soft rubber, or similar material, hole into which you can insert your penis. Because of the materials involved, it is usually safe to use lube, and ejaculate into the toy, before cleaning it off and putting it away. Check your local sex shop and don’t be afraid to ask for help, or ask questions of the staff working there. Trust me, they’ve heard it all, and you are not going to frighten them with your questions.

It may be possible to engage in mutual masturbation with people outside your relationship with the use of webcams. Talk with your partner and find out if this behavior is considered breaking the rules of your monogamous relationship, and if it is not, delve deeper into the conversation. There are numerous sites that offer services that allow you to broadcast your cam session. Some of them focus on one-on-one interactions between cam users, and some feature you broadcasting, and many people watching. Find out what, if any of the above, your partner is comfortable with you doing. Make sure that whatever boundaries you set with your partner are followed! If you have political or Hollywood aspirations, you may wish to hide your face somehow.

You may also decide to engage in masturbatary games with your partner. For example; challenge your partner to catch you in the act of masturbating, then challenge yourself to not get caught. See how close you can get to getting caught, without actually getting caught. Try various places in your home: The couch, the bathroom, the kitchen, etc. (I am assuming that you have no minor children, yours or otherwise, who live with you and who may be the ones who catch you instead of your partner.) You may also engage in masturbation in the same room as your partner, with or without looking at each other. Race each other to orgasm. Name a silly prize for the winner. (If I come before you, you will take out the trash tomorrow.)

Other options for variation can include altering the porn you watch, switching from visual porn to written erotica, altering the location you use to masturbate in. Are you tired of the shower? Try masturbating in the bed! Do you always do it in front of the computer? Go play in the pool! (The private, back yard swimming pool where no one but your legal-age partner is going to see what you’re doing.) Do you always use your right hand? Try your left!

Do you have an question for “Ask Daddy”? Send it to me, for a chance to have it answered in a future column.

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