February 21, 2014

“So I’m curious, I’m not sure I understand the whole ‘pup thing’ can you explain it to me?”

“One is interested in pup play, I have seen pups in action and I have a few pup friends. Is the role of a pup dom/sub or its handler/pup? I am interested in this, but feel awkward asking information as I don’t want to ask stupid questions or offend anyone. Is pup play a turn on to people? How does one go about more info? I know you are in A-PAH, but I know very little about this. Please help, and thank you for your time”

“As a new puppy, with an even newer handler, do you have any advise for me (the puppy) & him (the handler)? Our roles, expectations, communication, etc.?”

Presenting the first 3’fer Friday! To be honest, it’s likely to be the only 3’fer Friday, but why not. I had three very similar questions, so I am bundling them up and presenting them to you all at once!

The whole “pup thing” is similar to the whole “boy thing,” “slave thing,” or “little thing.” What I mean is that it’s a way to identify, and a way to define yourself and your role within a family, be it Kinky, Leather, Poly, or all of the above. Many people who are into pup play take on the roles and characteristics of puppies in real life. For example, when I’m at home, I can be minding my own business doing my thing, and suddenly my pup will want attention. He will whine, growl, bark, pull on my clothes, lay his head in my lap, etc. until I’m paying attention to him. Once he has my attention, he’ll demand love and affection for a few minutes, then run off and do something else. If we’re out somewhere, he’ll wander off to explore on his own, but will circle around to make sure I’m right where he left me. If I’m not, he’ll search until he finds me, and then wander off to explore again. If he does happen to be standing with me when I move, and his attention is not occupied by something else, he will follow me to wherever my new spot is. If I happen to pick something up that he wants, he’ll follow me around to make sure that I share my treat with him. If I try to lock him out of the room while enjoying my treat, he’ll whine and paw at the door until I let him in. And all of those things are things he does while in human head-space.

When he’s in pup-headspace it’s a completely different ballgame! He chews on toys, he moves around on four legs, he wrestles with other puppies, and he generally does all the things that pups do when they are playing with other pups. His role, when he’s in pup-headspace, is to be my puppy. To give me all the things that a bio-canine gives me. Love, affection, devotion, and playful pup energy. My role, when he’s in pup space is to give him protection, safety, food and water, things to do, and social interaction. For us, puppy play is not sexual, and it’s not inherently a Dom/sub relationship (except that I am expected to control him to a degree as his owner.)

For the person afraid of asking stupid questions, I have long held the belief that the only stupid question is the one that’s already been answered. If by all reasonably standards, you should know the answer and you ask the question anyway, it might be a stupid question. Most people will not be offended if you ask a question, or even if you ask for clarification because you didn’t understand what they meant when they answered. As the pup community grows and expands, there has been a lot of information put on the internet about what pup play is, and what pup play means to the people participating in it. Read some of that stuff, and then show up at your local pup event and get involved. Ask questions and make friends.

Do you have an question for “Ask Daddy”? Send it to me, for a chance to have it answered in a future column.

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