November 22, 2013

“Any advice for an attentive, almost aggressive, cock-sucker wanting to explore his submissive urges? Yeah, the sea is full of them, isn’t it?

“There has been experimentation had and introductory opportunities taken, yet not fully explored or developed. A belt was elementary. However, a sign of a hidden desire only touched upon once with a bullwhip. A flogger has been an object of affection not realized to date.

“Golden showers have and can be taken, yet a full stream, open mouth, has been difficult to follow thoroughly. Optionally, sensing a cock’s need for release and orally managing to coax smaller spurts or controlled flow offers the opportunity to service a worthy man further.

“Admittedly, I am not hardcore by any great means. I do draw my lines for some reason or another, either consciously or subconsciously. Though, at this point in my life, I don’t want to lose even the smallest of momentum by resigning myself to a self-imposed shyness, an endeavor to find/create trust or prudish outlooks of reserved/suppressed friends.

“Any advice, Daddy?”

Step 1) Get new friends. I am not saying that you need to ditch the prudish-reserved-suppressed friends; I am just saying that you need to expand your circle of friends, or create a new one. Friends that support and embrace your kinky nature and encourage you to explore that nature are crucial to your explorations. These new friends will help you explore, or point you in the direction of someone who will be able to help you explore yourself. If you know someone kinky in your area, hit them up directly for some resources of places you can go, and people you can meet who would be willing to help you out.

Step 2) Go out. Once you know where to go and who to talk to, actually do it. You may find yourself playing the wall flower at first, not really engaging in conversation with anyone yet, but your repeated presence will make you a recognized face. It will also allow you to recognize those who are actively engaged in the life you seek. The ones who are the most actively engaged, also tend to have the largest networks and should be able to point you out to the folks who share your fetishes and kinks.

Step 3) Reject the notion that one must be “hardcore” in order to explore their own fetishes. There are many different levels of BDSM and kink play, and many practitioners who are fluent in multiple levels. Simply tell the people you meet that you are new, and experimenting. The quality players will adjust their play to your level, while challenging you to move toward their level. Before you know it you’ll be doing a scene in public one day, and a new person will be watching. You’ll overhear them say, “I am interested in that, but I’m not that hardcore.”

Step 4) When you make connections with people that you want to play with, be honest about your experiences, and your intentions. If you intend to go further than you have before but want to go there slowly, let your partner know. If you intend to stay on the same level that you’re at, let them know that too. There is nothing more devastating to someone in the kink community than when we realize that we took someone too far too fast, and they leave the community broken and unwilling to try again. It harms our personal reputations, and our reputation as a community.

Nothing in this world is ever gained without first taking a risk, and putting yourself out there. The old adage is, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” and it’s true. If you are unwilling to meet your fantasies head on, and take the necessary steps to realize them; they will forever remain fantasies.

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