“I always find myself longing for the new. This goes for everything in my life, phone, residence, furniture, and relationships. Though I don’t have a problem being committed, I find myself always missing those first few months when you first meet someone. Why do I get so bored so easily in my relationships and everything else in my life?”
Because we live in a civilized society, there are accepted norms about behavior. One of those norms is that we will leave our exploration phase, and settle down, make commitments and refrain from exploring. Those who do not conform to this norm are looked at with a little bit of skepticism, and a whole lot of distrust.
What many people don’t realize is that just because a rule is right for them, it does not mean that rule is right for everyone. You hear people (usually in your parents generation) talk about how by the time they were certain age certain things had happened in their life, be it job, money, children, or relationships. These people mean well, and will tell you that they are just looking out for what’s best for you. Since they are not you, they can’t really know that for sure, however, and you know that fulfilling a role that is not right for you makes you antsy.
Social pressure begins to build up as you see your friends and contemporaries leaving behind their exploration and begin to settle. So where does that leave the “Peter Pans” of the world, who don’t want to stop exploring? Some of them form their own “lost boy tribes” who also want to continue to explore, and some of them seek out the company of younger people who are still exploring.
Give yourself permission to continue to explore, and explore as long as you need to before you settle down, if you settle down. Don’t worry about forming a permeant relationship with someone, form a relationship with someone who is willing and able to explore with you. If they go off on their own adventure later, let them go and explore something else. Don’t sign that pricy cellphone contract for two years, and instead look at companies that offer shorter contracts. You may pay more up front, but when your wanderlust kicks in (or that shiny new phone comes out) you’re not locked in. Commit to a storage unit where you can keep your important stuff, that way you can change your residence easily. Try to sign shorter leases on apartments when you move in, so that you can change without paying a premium. See what you can find at second hand stores, or available inexpensively online for furniture so you are not breaking your bank every time you want a new couch or table.Embracing your current nature is always a good and healthy thing. It becomes unhealthy when you are unable to sustain a lifestyle in a way that it effects you or other people negatively. Like anything that feels good, there is such a thing as too much. Be careful that you aren’t getting in over your head or hurting others in your exploration, and I say have a good time exploring!